Holding On
by Vicki595
Summary: Sequel to “Being Strong,” still dealing with the events of “Meridian”


Holding On  
  
TITLE: "Holding On"  
  
AUTHOR: Vicki  
  
EMAIL: little_miss_likes_to_fight@hotmail.com  
  
CATEGORY: Angst, future story, romance  
  
SPOILERS: My story "Being Strong," "Meridian," any mention of Cassandra, brief mentions of "Cold Lazarus," "In the Line of Duty," "Upgrades," "Entity."  
  
SEASON/SEQUEL: Sequel to "Being Strong"  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
CONTENT WARNINGS: Character death; angst  
  
PAIRING: Sam/Jack, Daniel/Janet  
  
SUMMARY: Sequel to "Being Strong," still dealing with the events of "Meridian"  
  
STATUS: Complete  
  
ARCHIVE: Archive: SJ yes, DanandJan yes Heliopolis yes. All others ask first  
  
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: So I said that "Being Strong" was going to be my only "Meridian" fic... I got so many people saying to me that it was too short, so I thought I'd write the sequel, set a few hours after "Being Strong." Feedback please, even if it's just to say that I should stop writing angst and go back to "Happy Land" where Daniel is still alive.  
  
  
  
He'd forgotten how quickly they grew. Jack O'Neill stood at the door to the nursery, watching, marvelling at the miracles inside. His new daughters were lying head to tail in one of the cots, while Janet's son, who was only a few months older than them, occupied the second.  
  
A whimper from his younger daughter pulled him from his thoughts, and he quickly crossed the room and picked her up, holding her against his shoulder, trying to soothe her lest she wake the other two.  
  
"Hush there little one," he murmured reassuringly to little Danielle, or Ella as she was called. Feeling the small weight on his shoulder relax, he carefully placed her back in the crib, gently running his finger down the side of her face. His gaze shifted to her twin, Charlotte – Lottie – who reminded Jack so much of her namesake. It was obvious even at this early age that they were not going to be identical, although Jack sincerely hoped that they had inherited their mother's brains. Turning away from his daughters, he looked down at the other cot where his godson currently lay. Daniel and Janet's son looked to be taking after his father, and Jack only wished that the boy could have had a chance to meet him. Daniel had died – ascended – over a year previously without knowing about Janet's pregnancy, and the fact that he was going to be a dad. Jack still felt Daniel's presence around, and was glad to know that he had least had a chance to get to know little Dan.  
  
Jack could still remember the morning when they had found out about Janet's pregnancy as clearly as if it were yesterday. It had been the morning after the night the twins had been conceived, and he had only found out minutes previously that Janet and Daniel had been a couple at the time of his death, before Janet had called, telling Sam the news. Sam had broken down in his arms briefly before they made their way to Janet's house. There they had found Cassandra trying to comfort her adopted mother, who had been crying ever since she had put the phone down on Sam.  
  
Sam had immediately engulfed her best friend in a hug, while Jack discretely relocated Cassandra to the kitchen on the pretence of requiring help for drinks and breakfast. Jack didn't know exactly what had transpired between the two women during that time, but when Janet had appeared for breakfast, there was a small smile on her face and a hint of the old Janet was shining through. Jack recognised the signs as the first tentative steps on the long slow road to recovery. Even with the loss of Doctor Daniel Jackson, Janet Frasier still had things to live for; her children being her number one priority. She had always been fiercely protective of Cassandra, and now with little Daniel's birth, Jack knew that nothing would come in-between her and her family.  
  
"I'm off to bed now," Sam's voice broke into his thoughts, and he turned around to see his wife standing at the door, looking exhausted. "I'll see you in a minute – yeah?"  
  
"Sure," Jack replied, his eyes shinning with love as he gazed fondly on the woman who had helped him through so much and meant so much to him. "Love you."  
  
Sam smiled. "Love you too."  
  
He watched her disappear, marvelling at the ease at which she had regained her slim figure. He knew that the pregnancy hadn't been easy on her, nor had it been expected. Both Sam and Jack had been preparing themselves to support Janet throughout her pregnancy, when Sam missed first one, then two periods. The result came back positive, forcing them to confess all to General Hammond. Fortunately, the General was able to help them work around the regulations, and they had got married the next week in a small civil service with only Janet, Cassandra, Teal'c, the General and Sam's father present. It had been even more of a shock a few months after that when the ultra-sound revealed that she was carrying twins. They had been disbelieving until Doctor Thompson, the base's temporary CMO had pointed out the two separate heartbeats of the two foetuses.  
  
With one last glance backwards at Dan, Lottie and Ella, Jack left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him, and began to make his way downstairs. There was still a light on in the living room, and he knocked quietly on the ajar door to announce his presence.  
  
Janet was lying on the sofa, a blanket pulled over her as she propped herself up with one elbow and stared at a photo she held in her hand. It was of Daniel, captured when he had obviously been unaware of the photographer. He was looking away from the camera, a huge grin spread across his face.  
  
"Cassie took it when we went to the park," Janet informed him quietly, tears in her eyes. "It was about a week before he died, and he just showed up at home and announced that he was taking us out." She pulled out another photo, this one of her and Daniel mock wrestling in each other's arms. Jack silently compared the bright, vibrant woman in the photo to the pale, heartbroken one in front of him now.  
  
"Oh Jack I miss him so much," Janet sobbed, and Jack put his arms around her and held her tight. "It's been a year, and it still hurts. I keep thinking that I have to tell him every time Dan does something, or I see something I think he'll like. And then I remember I can't. I can't do this alone Jack – I need him."  
  
Jack gently rocked her back and forth, trying to soothe her like he had done to his daughter moments previously. One hand rubbed her back comfortingly, as she tried to calm herself. "It'll be alright Janet – trust me. I know you miss him, but the pain will decrease. You're not alone here Jan – always remember that Sam and I and Teal'c and Cassie, we're here for you every step of the way. We'll get you through it – I promise."  
  
Janet nodded, pulling herself out of his arms. There was a wet patch on the front of his shirt where her tears had fallen. Her face was pale and gaunt, and her eyes large dark pools full of pain and anguish. Jack could only remember those feelings all to well. Not only when he lost Charlie, but all the times since when he thought he'd lost Sam as well; when she had been inhabited by Jolinar, trapped behind a force field on Apophis' new ship. When he had been forced to shoot her with the zat gun – twice. Janet lay back on the sofa, and Jack tucked her in, noticing just how petite and frail she was. Like Sam, she had lost all the weight put on during the pregnancy, but she had also lost more, and was looking dangerously thin.  
  
"Get some sleep," he told her, dropping a brotherly kiss on her forehead. "We'll see you in the morning."  
  
He turned off the light, and turning to leave, he was stopped with a "Jack" coming from the doctor.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thanks." In the darkness, Janet was unable to see the smile grace Jack's lips.  
  
"Anytime," he replied. "Night."  
  
He made his way slowly up the stairs, for once feeling every bit of his forty-six years. He started shedding his clothes only by the light of the moon as he entered the master bedroom. Sam was lying on her side, her back facing him, and as soon as he reached down to his boxers, he threw the covers aside and spooned his body against his wife's, pulling her close.  
  
"How is she?" Sam's question startled him, as he had thought she was asleep.  
  
"She's... she's coping I think," Jack replied, hesitating slightly. "But she's going to make herself ill soon. We've got to keep an eye on her."  
  
Sam shifted herself so that she was facing him. "Don't ever leave me," she told him bluntly, her blue eyes deadly serious.  
  
Jack reached for her left hand, and brought it up to his mouth, kissing the simple gold band she now wore on her finger. "Never," he promised. "Now, get some sleep, and we'll see what happens in the morning."  
  
"Yes sir," Sam mumbled, burying her face in his chest, and holding onto him tightly as if to reassure herself that he wasn't going anywhere.  
  
Jack lay awake for a while longer, listening to the regular breathing that told him she was sleeping. "Oh Daniel," he sighed, talking, as he often did, to his friend. "We could really do with you to play the hero now. You gotta help me take care of them Space Monkey. Just because you're ascended now doesn't make Dan any less your son, or Janet any less the woman you love. Your would-be-wife, remember? I found the ring when we cleared out your apartment. Just answer me this Danny-boy. Would you have still done it if you'd had known you were gonna be a dad?"  
  
There was no answer, and Jack hadn't expected there to be any. He pushed back a loose strand of hair from Sam's face and settled down to sleep.  
  
"If I had known..." The words were quietly spoken, and tinged with an immeasurable sadness. But Jack was no longer awake to hear them. "No."  
  
* * *  
  
The end (hopefully for good, unless my warped mind comes up with something else!)  
  
All feedback to little_miss_likes_to_fight@hotmail.com  
  
Copyright Vicki Pryke May 2002 


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